google1bde5f310b29fda8.html Overcome Anxious Negative Thought Patterns

Tuesday, November 14, 2023

Fear of Inadequacy in Relationships

Feelings of Inadequacy in Relationships

Scroll down to read the article




What is the Fear of Inadequacy?

Do you suffer from insecurity and feelings of inadequacy in your own abilities? Are you afraid people are going to reject you? Do you feel anxious when given an assignment at work, feeling you may let others down? Do you feel anxious, negative thoughts over your inability? Sometimes, I go into a panic attack. 

Did you grow up not receiving value and acceptance? Well, the Lord accepts you because He created you. They offer spiritual and emotional growth opportunities as uncomfortable situations might present themselves. How do we overcome our inadequacy to move into all God has for us?

How to Overcome Fear of Inadequacy!

Paul understood feelings of inadequacy. When faced with the call of God, he asked, ‘Who is adequate for these things? Looked beyond his limitations to God’s sufficiency, declaring boldly, ‘I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). What were the ingredients?

Our adequacy comes not from ourselves but from God. He put his abilities in the Lord so that He could do all things. 

As God’s peace stilled the unrest in my soul, my eyes fell on this verse:

‘Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9). So, put your trust and faith in the Lord that you can. Your security is not within yourself but in God.

This brings peace back into your life that you are not alone. You are partnering up with the Lord.

Are you looking for solutions? You don't have to do it alone. Learn how to conquer anxious, negative thoughts and emotions. 

If you suffer from social anxiety or any type of anxiety that is holding you back from flourishing, I would love to go deeper with you to overcome social fear. So, jump on a one-on-one call with me where we can map out a personal blueprint to conquer social anxiety. So, go to my website, and you can schedule a free 45-minute call with me.

During the call, I will help you identify your false beliefs so that you transform yourself into a confident, strong woman of God who can speak up without fear of being judged. Or scroll down and get my book.

Get my Free eBook Jump Off the Merry-Go-Round of Anxiety, Stress, and Depression. Read stories of people who overcome anxiety attacks and excelled in life.


Anxious2victorious women's coaching program to conquer anxiety


Do you suffer from social anxiety or some form of stress that is holding you back from your purpose?

I would love to go deeper with you to overcome social anxiety. So, jump on a one-on-one call with me where we can map out a personal blueprint to conquer social fear. Schedule a free 45-minute call with me. 

During the call, I will help you identify your false beliefs so that you transform yourself into a confident, strong woman of God who can speak up without fear of being judged. Scroll down and get my free ebook on Anxiety.

****************************

Do You Suffer from Anxious, Negative Thoughts That You Cannot Control but It Controls You? Read testimonies of those who have conquered it!

Download your FREE GIFT NOW!


Jump Off The Merry-Go-Round:
Five proven steps to conquer unwanted thoughts of worry and shame that drive anxiety and depression to fulfill your potential


by Teresa Morin

This eBook is one of Teresa's most popular publications, free downloadable.

  • Let go of shame, worry, and fear
  • Get freedom from the enemy’s lies
  • Let go of the past pain, hurts, and trauma
  • Learn specific anti-anxiety tools
  • Cultivate Christ-centered confidence and become your most authentic self again.
jump off the merry-go-round and overcome anxiety

free anxiety book

Coach Teresa Morin
Anxious2Victorious Women Coaching 12-Week Program

Friday, November 10, 2023

Got Ruts?

 Why do we get stuck in ruts? 

We become stuck in ruts due to our brains' habitual electrical patterns. Past experience shapes present and future behavior - overthinking that may cause anxiety.

What do we do? How to remove negative thoughts from mind permanently?

Renewing your mind

How about creating a trench of truth? 

First, how do we attack the problems? Did you know that behavior modification doesn't work because it is not getting to the root problem that produces the behavior? For example, stress, reaching for a smoke. Why is that? The mind is already wired, so now rewire the thinking.

Why Negative Thoughts Come in the Mind

First, remove the lie at the root of the behavior, and replace it with a principle of truth (God's Word) that creates a new neural pathway - a new trench. Instead of allowing the stress to reach a bad habit like smoking, using His Word of truth is going to Jesus, the author of peace. 

Yes, it takes work, trusting Jesus, and allowing Him to become our peace. It takes about 40 days to change the trench to a new trench (stronghold) lined up God's way. 

Coach Teresa Morin
Anxious2Victorious Women's Coaching Program - Get my free ebook today

How do we remove negative thoughts from the subconscious mind? Renewing the Mind

See testimonies of victory

women who have overcome anxiety and stress


When Self-doubt Consumes You! - WX

 

Three Steps to Stop Self-Doubting

Breaking Self-Inflicted Curses



Many people experience self-doubt at some point in their lives. For some, self-doubt consumes you continuously. When there is chronic self-doubt, it is like a greedy parasite that destroys more and more of you, stealing your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-efficacy.


When you believe something long repeatedly enough over time, eventually, it forms grooves in your neural pathways. When you try to make a decision, do you self-argue and change your mind repeatedly? Accomplishing everything is essential to you? Do you call all your friends about your decisions, needing constant reassurance?


Too often, we cannot fulfill God's will for our lives because we doubt ourselves. We choose to believe that we are not good enough, smart enough, or worthy, believing we are not worthy of God.


Isn't it time to trust yourself and get your confidence back?


When you look at the story of David fighting Goliath, he put his trust in God. He had a particular faith or belief that one would act correctly, appropriately, or effectively.

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" (Matthew 6:33). Believe and trust God that you can do all things through Him.


While I battle this whole concept, I realize we have two steps to take.

  1. Recognize the evil one is working against you through thought.
  2. Change our way of thinking and not accept your thoughts but cast it down
  3. Replace the old thought with God's Word and stand on it. Remember, it takes time. Know who you are in Christ.

 Teresa Morin
Anxious2Victorious Women's Coaching Program - Kicking Out Anxiety


Summary: Wrestle with Self-doubting When Making Decisions?

Discover three decisive steps to break free from self-doubting and regain confidence. Unleash your true potential and conquer your fears.  Click on the link to go to the full article - https://bit.ly/3SFLbEE

This has bee added to my Wix Blog 111423 - https://bit.ly/3SFLbEE

Chronic Excessive Worrier Stealing Your Joy?

 

Chronic Excessive Worrier Stealing Your Joy?


The chronic excessive worrior woman with hands on her head

 
We all can have issues to worry at certain times in our lives. Our children, finances, jobs, deadlines you cannot meet, marriage, etc. Then COVID hits, rocking our world and sending everyone working from home. Then, the adjustment.
 
What I’m talking about are those who struggle with excessive chronic worry. When not careful, our thoughts (some say the Devil), an extreme worrying person will cause you to worry beyond what’s reasonable. Means cannot stop it that robs you of life. It is like it becomes habitual.
 
Are you one of those who feel trapped by your fears and worries, unable to have any real quality of life? The truth is, worry is the opposite of faith—no condemnation, mercy, love, and grace.
 
The root of worry is fear. Worry can physically wear you out and even make you sick. When you cannot get worried under control, it can cause anxiety attacks. The anxiety attack is a worry out of control.
 
Physically to our bodies, when you worry, you release cortisol. A hormone only to be released when in danger. When we worry, too much cortisol is released continuously, causes fatigue, blocks our immune system, and interferes with digestion, which can manifest as IBS, acid reflux, etc. You not only damage your body but mental diseases.
 

Finding That Peace With God

 
Jesus wants to take our worries. He says 1 Peter 5:6-7 “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
 
When you are overly anxiously worrying about something or someone, see yourself giving it over to Christ – toss it to Him or see yourself putting it on the cross.
 
In Jesus’ day, the farmers used a yoke, a kind of collar, to link two oxen. The yoke was then attached to another object, such as a plow. The two owsen shared the burden. Try applying the same principle except add Jesus. Jesus is our yoke to help carry the yoke of life with us. Invite Him to assist you with whatever is consuming your life with worry.
 
Matthew 11:29-30 “29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
 
If you still have problems casting your cares to the Lord, you may need help. My 90-day program will help you kick out the anxiety caused by anxious, negative thought patterns. I am launching a 90-day group in April, and seats are limited. 

Coach Teresa Morin
Anxious2Victorious Women Coaching Program - Kicking out anxiety



How to Plan and Achieve Your Goals

 

How to Plan and Achieve Your Goals

Oct 23, 2021
woman free from anxiety

So now you have the goal, you need the plan. To do this, look at where you are now and then look at all the things you would need to build the life you are picturing. For instance, you might find that you need a certain amount of money to make your dream of travelling happen.

In that case, you need to look at the options available to you to make that money. Or maybe you want to achieve a certain thing in your career and you realize that in order to get there, there is a certain amount of experience you need to acquire first. How can you acquire said experience?

There are many similar examples of how you might go after a particular goal but the thing to remember in every case is that you need to focus on small steps that are just ahead of you. That might mean the next small promotion. It might mean a small upgrade to your home. It might mean developing any form of small income.

With that in mind, you will break these smaller goals down even further. Now the objective is to look at the most minor possible steps that you need to take on a daily or weekly basis to get there. So if your goal is to have a body like Brad Pitt, then that most minor daily step is simple: diet and exercise.

Look around, find a training plan and a diet that works for you, and then commit to sticking to that every single day without one flaw. Likewise, if your goal is to be a top novelist, then your daily goal will be to write X number of words per day. Make the goals easy to accomplish but ensure they take positive – if small – steps in the right direction.

This is the critical target. This is the primary directive. You’ll imagine that vision and let it motivate you when the times get rough. But you are going to forget anything other than the daily target. Right now, that is all that matters.

To help you visualize this, here is what it basically boils down to:

Dream/Vision (Overarching Goal) > Plan (Stepping Stone Goals) > Daily Target (Daily/Weekly Goal)

Changing Your Thinking

So why is this change in thinking so important? The answer is that focusing too much on a distant goal will make you too detached from what you’re trying to accomplish. For instance, if your only ‘goal’ is to become a novelist, you lack any real structure or plan.

This is going to make it very hard for you to stick to. It’s too easy for you to get lazy, take shortcuts, or even forget all about it. Even if your goal is more specific and time-sensitive – such as losing 15kg in 6 months – you are still too detached from it. Why? Because a) you might still think it’s okay to skip a workout or to cheat on your diet one day and then ‘put off’ the goal.

By the time you have 1 month left and you’re still no lighter, you might give up. Or what if you stick to the plan as much as possible but you still don’t see the results you want? How disheartening is that? So, instead, the goal is the target. You focus just on the one day.

You either succeed or fail. It is entirely down to you. It’s entirely your responsibility and no excuses cut it. But if you keep focusing on the daily targets, you will find that the overarching vision takes care of itself. It’s like building a house brick by brick, or taking a journey step-by-step.

Some Final Tips

Just to help you stick to your path, consider a few pointers.

One: keep your daily targets easy to accomplish. Introduce them slowly. Don’t be in a rush to get anywhere. It is better that you just start to enjoy exercise than letting yourself get burned out or put off.

Two: keep track of the days you succeed and lose. Jerry Seinfeld uses this technique and calls it ‘the chain’.

Every day he does what he sets out to do, he puts a big cross on his calendar. This is rewarding and addictive in and of itself, and his desire to ‘not break the chain’ is reportedly enough to keep him from giving up.

Three: use the most practical and proven methods to get where you want to be. You must believe in your plan.

Why are we willing to go to work every day but not work on a plan we enjoy and that could make us more prosperous? Simple: because when we go to work, we definitely get paid. You need a similar plan. Something that will help you get where you need to be, at least in your mind.

And finally, don’t get disheartened if you miss one day. The aim is not to, of course. But if you slip up, go easy on yourself and just jump straight back on that horse!

Coach Teresa Morin
Anxious2Victorious Women Coaching 12-Week Program


Reward Accomplishments if you Break your Habits

 

Reward Accomplishments if you Break your Habits

Oct 23, 2021
overcoming anxiety

Life becomes more worth living when you know that for every good thing that you did, a reward is bound to come your way. By this time, you already know that stopping your addictions is possible only if you will really put your heart and mind to it. The last but definitely not the least tool for you to completely free yourself from your bad habits is learning to reward yourself for every accomplishment that you make.

Through meaningful rewards, you can be more motivated to do better the next day and you will strive even harder to make sure that you will get another great reward in the future. With this kind of inspiration and motivation, you will have the drive to become better and better every day as you finish your journey to complete recovery from your addiction.

Every Accomplishment Deserves a Good Reward

Reward systems are being used in many situations today. At home, in schools and even in workplaces, a reward system is considered as a helpful tool for people to do better. This serves as a motivation for the children to do their chores at home. Students learn to embrace their lessons better and complete their homework because they know that they will be rewarded for everything that they do.

Employees feel more valued and appreciated when their employees reward them for their achievements. Reward systems can certainly do wonders when it comes to inspiring people to strive better and even in your recovery from addiction, rewarding yourself for every accomplishment that you make can inspire you to move forward and finish what you have started.

Maybe you could say no to your friends’ invitation to go to the bar after work. Perhaps the sight of marijuana no longer made you feel any cravings to take a toke. Maybe you were able to stop yourself from watching the porn video that popped up during your search.

These things might seem like a simple accomplishment for others, but for those who are addicted to alcohol, marijuana, and pornography, these simple actions are a giant leap on their way to recovery, and these things definitely deserve some reward.

The rewards will be all up to. You can either set it for yourself or ask your family and friends to give you something for every accomplishment you make. The main point here is that you will get something good out of being able to resist the lure of your addictions.

At the end of the day, it is not really the reward that matters. What matters is that even if there is no reward, it will now be easier for you to say No to your addictions. This is because you have already accepted in your heart and mind that your bad habits will never do you any good, and letting them go is the only way for you to live the kind of life you want, the life you deserve.

Hopefully, this article has helped you in learning how to stop your addictions. Use the tools you discovered to break free from all your bad habits.

Teresa Morin
Anxious2Victorious Women Coaching Program - Kicking Out Anxiety

19 Characteristics of a Narcissist

 

Married to a Narcissist Husband? Learn the 19 Characteristics of a Narcissist

Are you married to a narcissistic husband and stuck because of finances?

The hardest relationship in the world is married to a narcissistic husband. You will never be good enough for them. Their abuse causes you to feel like the following:

 

  •           Do you feel as though you lost yourself in the relationship?
  •           Have you stopped doing things for yourself?
  •           Do your dreams and ambitions become distant memories?
  •           Do you feel like you have shrunk away into oblivion, while the narcissist takes center stage?
  •           Do you live in fear of saying the wrong thing that may cause them to go off on you?
  •           Do you suffer from stress, anxiety, and negative thoughts about yourself?
  •           Do you feel like you are losing your mind or feeling crazy?
  •           Are you depressed and feeling stuck and thinking of suicide?
  •           Do you feel like you are married to Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde?

That’s how a narcissist makes you feel. Narcissists are notoriously self-absorbed. They come off as arrogant, demanding, in-love-with-themselves, and they expect you to be the same – that you give 100% attention to them. They want you to obsess over them as much as they do. In the bible, a narcissistic personality is a Jezebel. They are like Dr. Jekle and Mr. Hyde. The narcissist will damage you and they will cause drama and chaos and division because, like the scorpion, that’s what they do. It’s important to understand the characteristics of a narcissist because this is what makes them so damaging……and SNEAKY.

Our world is full of narcissistic people, and they damage their wives by emotionally abusing them who are having a hard time surviving. Can you relate? Most of us think of narcissism as merely being selfish. But it is much more serious than that. They are sadistic people with a hardness of heart like King Saul.  

Narcissistic people reject God’s Word about loving others:

A narcissist has traits that are in opposition to the ability to love other people, at least in the way that normal people understand love.

Narcissistic people reject God’s commandments to love others. In 1 Cor. 13:4 says “Love is not rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not easily angered or resentful. It does not punish or seek revenge.” A narcissistic person disobeys and rebels against God’s word. They even ignore the rules of an organization because rules and morals do not apply to them.

19 Traits of a narcissistic person:

  1.    A narcissist is Controlling.

Basically, a narcissistic person wants their way, their opinions, and their decisions to prevail, and they get angry if you disagree with them. They will pound you verbally until you give up for peace. This is emotional abuse.

  1.    They Will Punish You. If you do not agree with them or dare to challenge them, you can expect a narcissistic person to do the following:
  • Punishment – you will pay
  • Vindictive – they will get revenge

Narcissistic people will punish you to control – you will pay. Their favorite punishment, when you don’t agree or do what they want you to do, is to withdraw from you emotionally. The silent treatment for days or even weeks. They become cold and distant because they know you hate this. They believe you will cave to them. It is a rollercoaster of emotions living with a narcissist.

They are revengeful: They repeated threats, smearing your social reputation, and trying to mess up your career and the new relationship.

If a narcissistic person feels you are pulling from them, they will give a little reward from time to time to keep a person hooked such as a little affection, affirmation, and being nice through flattery to pull you back. I’m sure when you dated him, he went out of the way to be nice to you, complimented you, and gave you gifts to win you over.

When they are nice to you to pull you in emotionally, you think they have changed, and you get your hopes up, and you open up your heart again, but it is a psychological game for them. Then, wham you. What does the Word have to say about flattery?

Ps 78:36-37 “Psalm 78:36-37 Nevertheless they flattered him with their mouth, and they lied unto him with their tongues. For their heart was not right with him, neither were they steadfast in his covenant.”  In Psalm 62:4 They plan to topple me from my high position. They delight in telling lies about me. They praise me to my face but curse me in their hearts.. A narcissistic person acts like Jekyll & Hyde. They act like they have two personalities. One person is pleasant and the other dangerous.

If you are dating a man that overly flatters you with a lot of compliments, run from them.

Proverbs 7:21-23 She persuaded him with persuasive words; with her smooth talk, she compelled him. Suddenly he went after her like an ox that goes to the slaughter, like a stag prancing into a trapper’s snare till an arrow pierces his liver like a bird hurrying into a trap, and he does not know that it will cost him his life.

  1.    Truth Enrages them: They refuse any form of accountability or truth. They do not want to hear the truth from you or anyone else, so you walk on eggshells to void their anger.
  2.    Tiptoe around them: If you are married to a narcissist, you will find yourself tiptoeing on eggshells. You never know what will offend them. You never know when Hyde will show up and the rollercoaster starts.
  3.    They have anger and rage to intimidate you: In the home of a narcissist, there is a lot of anger and rage because a narcissist is so often using anger to manipulate and dominate to intimidate you to submission. It is the way they punish.
  4.    They Shift Focus: If you have a problem with their attitude, or how they treat you, or you want them to change, they will shift focus and make you the problem, whinner, etc. that you are complaining about and you are ungrateful. Before you know it, you are defending yourself against being a complainer.
  5.    A narcissistic person lies: They avoid things by lying to you. They will lie to hide things from you. They will lie to control your opinion about someone they do not like. Even if you catch them lying, they will make excuses to prove their lies are true! Narcissists are masters of deceit.

They lie to charm people. They can be very charming around your friends. They can make you feel special and important to them but in fact, they are manipulating you and getting control of you. The charm will only last if you are their puppet.

  1.    They Never Admit they are Wrong: They will convince you they are innocent. They never admit they are wrong or ever apologize but twist the truth to confuse you and turn it on you.
  2.    They will convince you that you don’t trust them: Narcissists are cynical and very accusing.
  3.   They love leadership roles as a stage for attention: Narcissistic people love power, praise, and GLORY. They will do anything to get recognition from others.
  4.   They are masterful actors: Narcissists are actors and they play different roles for different people. We call these roles ‘masks’. they try to keep the mask up so you do not see what they are really like.
  5.   They Have Affairs: Most narcissists will cheat on anyone they're with, especially when the relationship or marriage is already well-established. It's also crucial to understand that being cheated on by a narcissist doesn't mean that you're less intelligent than they are. They get what they want and don’t care who they hurt.
  6.   Narcissists are classic bullies: They ambush, attack without cause, and prey on the most vulnerable within their grasp, usually those who love and depend on them, namely their spouse and children, who as a result carry lasting emotional and physiological trauma.
  7.   Passive aggressiveness is a favorite tool because it looks innocent: This is done with the purpose of manipulating or hurting you, passive aggression can be considered a type of covert abuse, particularly if done persistently. The silent treatment is an example of passive-aggressive behavior. Making a joke at your expense is another example.
  8.   Narcissists do not battle honestly: They employ deception and lies to ‘win’. They make you the problem through deception.
  9.   Narcissist Push Buttons: A narcissistic person will push your buttons to get you to lose your temper and then point the finger at you that you are the problem around your friends or in public.
  10.   They Talk About Themselves: Narcissists spend most of their conversations talking about themselves. And they expect you to talk about them too.

If you talk about yourself, narcissists find ways to steer the conversation back to them. They might interrupt you, with something “important” about them. Stare at you with a glazed expression, clearly not listening. Or ridicule you until you stop.

  1.   They act like victims: One of the most powerful ways they manipulate people is they play the victim card by making people feel sorry for them. Unfortunately, people make excuses for them. A victim is very hard to confront or hold accountable. They get away with horrible things.
  2.   Narcissistic people are never happy: Narcissistic people are never happy, and they don’t want you to be happy either. Remember the phrase misery loves company? Well, with them it is true.

SNEAKY ANGER. Know anyone who has sneaky anger? They stab you in the back at work. If looks could kill, you’d be dead. You pass in the hallway at work, and they hardly say “hello.” But they would deny they are angry. It’s amazing how ANGRY people deny they are angry. Some Narcissists Hide Their Anger: Paul Tournier, the great Christian marriage counselor, said, “The angriest people are not yellers. They do not raise their voice. They are soft-spoken. Their anger is sneaky anger!”

The angriest people are not yellers. They do not raise their voice. They are soft-spoken. Their anger is sneaky anger!” 

One of Aesop’s most famous fables is about the scorpion talking a frog into giving him a ride across a river. The scorpion could not swim and so he begged the frog to let him ride on his back. The frog said, “No. I’m afraid you will sting me.” The scorpion promised that he would not do that. But when they got close to the other side of the river the scorpion stung the frog. And the frog said, “You promised me. Why did you sting me?” The scorpion said, “I’m a scorpion and that’s what scorpions do.”

 

So how can you survive a narcissistic husband?

 

  1.    Set clear boundaries:

 

  •           Whatever it takes, find the courage to draw boundary lines for their behavior. Not allowing it.
  •           Have topics that you won’t talk about.
  •           If you do have to spend a lot of time with your narcissist, create a little bit of a detox period for yourself.

 

  1.    Don’t fight back or yell back: A narcissist can rage, yell, threaten you, and be malevolently cruel... You must draw boundary lines because whatever you allow will continue. If that means going to your bedroom, leaving the house, going outside, or even going to the bathroom to escape their rage and yelling. You must tell them you refuse to talk to them when they present that type of behavior.

 

  1.    Their behavior is not about you:



  •           Their problem is serious. They suffered severe rejection or were controlled and made some bad choices in life to protect themselves. They are full of insecurity and keep you at a distance so that you don’t really know them.
  •           Their life is about them. Don’t take it personally.  
  •           This means we must not let the drama they create make us back down. Narcissists love to create drama. It is their favorite tactic yelling, rage, and growing cold to you. They hope you will cave – peace at any price. Don’t cave but forgive quickly.
  •           But you must not be manipulated by it because whatever you allow…will continue.  Don’t give in to having peace.    

 

  1.    You are never responsible for their happiness:

 

It is a choice. Happy people never put other people in charge of their happiness. When they are not happy, they blame you. It is a trap. They are experts at mind games. Happiness is a choice. If they choose not to be happy, let them. You can’t force a person to be happy, but you can choose not to put them in charge of YOUR happiness.



  1.    Learn not to engage with them:  

 

Dial down the type of conversation such as the weather – small talk. Don’t talk about your emotional issues with them. They see you vulnerable and chop you up with their words. Don’t try to explain to them why you did something or said something. You’re never going to win at that game because narcissists argue like lawyers. You can’t win, so don’t bother. I had a dad who was narcissist and when he would try to start an argument or accuse me of something, I would say, if that is what you believe, then believe it. I know the Lord knows the truth and I am accountable to him.

 

  1.    Get in a support group either in person or online: If you need to get counseling on how to survive a narcissistic personality do it. This can be online. You can join forums, Facebook groups, etc. Have support from friends and family members that can pray for you and lift you up when it gets difficult.

 

  1.    Understand That He Is Irrational – they are very suspicious people and will try to conjure up something like you have been unfaithful. My favorite line when someone accuses me is to say “if that is what you want to believe and cut the conversation off.” Don’t defend yourself – that is caving in with them.

 

  1.    Maintain Realistic Expectations - you’ve got to recognize that this is not going to change. This is who they were when you met them, and this is who they are now. So don’t have unrealistic hope that one day this is going to get better. 

 

  1.    Expect that It Will Get Worse After Having Children if Planning:

They demand to be the king bee. Children to them is inconvenient, noisy, and messy. Plus, it takes the attention off of them dealing with children’s needs. They feel like they must compete for your attention because they want 100 percent of your attention.

 

 

  1.   Don’t take their guilt trips: Living with a narcissistic person is not easy. It will be very hard because a narcissist is a pro at making us feel guilty if we are happy and they are not. Don’t take the bait. Be happy even if they refuse to be. Don’t fall into their guilt.

 

  1.   If they start twisting, and yelling, tell them you won’t talk as long as they are yelling, and threatening. Go for a walk, get out of the house, or go to the bathroom.

 

 

  1.   Learn to forgive the unforgiveable:

 

Forgiving is the hardest form of loving other people as Jesus has loved us. He said love one another as I have loved you. Well, that means forgiving the unforgivable as He has forgiven us. Remember it is not about you. You are dealing with a very sadistic person that has no love in their hearts. They have the heart of Saul. So, detach the is unhooking emotionally. If we refuse to forgive, we have fallen into their trap. They want you to be angry and unforgiving. They want drama. Why? Because whoever makes you angry controls you. Forgive and break the chain.

 

That is why the Bible says don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Don’t punish yourself for someone else’s behavior.

 

 

  1.   Finally, here is a big key to protecting yourself:

Protect yourself from a narcissist by counting your blessings in the morning and every night. Don’t let a narcissist steal your joy. They are unhappy so they don’t want you to be happy. You need to be defiant by practicing thankfulness for all your blessings.

 

People who feel blessed are those who count their blessings. It’s your best protection against a narcissist!

 

  1.   When in public places with friends: Always be on guard for them to push your buttons to get you to react in a negative way. They want you to look bad to mutual friends.

 

A relationship with a narcissist is a rollercoaster. You can’t change them but you can get off the rollercoaster by counting your blessings. Seriously. Your life is bigger than the things they do.

 

Why is Your Husband a Narcissistic?

The spiritual fruit of a narcissist is the root of rejection. The underlying elements of rebellion, with bitterness and idolatry, are always present in the life of the narcissistic scorner. They are deceived so that they cannot see their error. In some, the Narcissistic spirit is stronger and more evident.

The evil fruit:

  •           Unteachable
  •           Deceived
  •           Uncorrectable
  •           Stubborn Self-will
  •           Self-worship
  •           Envious, Covetousness, Envy
  •           Tale Bearing, Gossip
  •           Selfish
  •           Bitter

After living with a narcissist (still married or divorced), and you feel hurt, have a broken heart, walk on eggs, dealing with anxiety, stress, and depression, How about feelings of guilt and shame? Maybe you feel defiled? Do you have a lot of negative thoughts driving anxiety, you may want to hear this next part.

Teresa Morin
Anxious2Victorious Women Coaching Program - Kick Out Anxiety