People pleasing traits

What Is a People-Pleaser?

People-pleasing involves putting someone else's needs ahead of your own. People-pleasers are highly attuned to others and are often seen as agreeable, helpful, and kind. However, people-pleasers may have trouble advocating for themselves, leading to a harmful pattern of self-sacrifice or self-neglect. People-pleasing is associated with a personality trait known as "sociotropy," or feeling overly concerned with pleasing others and earning their approval to maintain relationships. Someone with a people-pleasing trait suffer from anxiety, stress, panic attacks or more.

Signs You Might Be a People-Pleaser

People-pleasers tend to share several characteristics. Here are some signs that you might be a people-pleaser:

• You have a difficult time saying "no."
• You are preoccupied with what other people might think.
• You feel guilty when you do tell people "no."
• You fear turning people down will make them think you are mean or selfish.
• You agree to things you don’t like or do things you don’t want to do.
• You struggle with feelings of low self-esteem.
• You want people to like you and feel that doing things for them will earn their approval.
• You’re always telling people you’re sorry.
• You take the blame even when something isn’t your fault.
• You never have free time because you are always doing things for others.
• You neglect your own needs to do things for others.
• You pretend to agree with people even though you feel differently.
  
  

Causes of People Pleasing Traits

To stop being a people-pleaser, it's essential to understand why you might be engaging in this kind of behavior. Several factors might play a role, including:

• Poor self-esteem: Sometimes, people engage in people-pleasing behavior because they don't value their desires and needs. Due to a lack of self-confidence, people-pleasers need external validation, and they may feel that doing things for others will lead to approval and acceptance.
• Insecurity: In other cases, people might try to please others because they worry that others won't like them if they don't go above and beyond to make them happy.
• Perfectionism: Sometimes people want everything to be "just so," including how others think and feel.
• Past experiences: Painful, complex, or traumatic emotional abuse experiences may also play a role. People who have experienced traumatic emotional torment, for example, may try to please others and be as agreeable as possible to avoid triggering abusive behavior in others.
  

In conclusion, being a people-pleaser is unhealthy and can lead to resentment, burnout, and low self-worth. It's essential to recognize the signs of people-pleasing and work on building your self-esteem and confidence, setting boundaries, and learning to prioritize your needs. Remember, saying "no" and taking care of yourself first is okay.

Coach Teresa Morin
Touch of God Deliverance Ministry - a Christian Healing and Deliverance Ministry. A Woman's Anxiety Coach 12-week transformative program to set women free from anxiety.