What Is a People-Pleaser?
People-pleasing involves putting someone else's needs ahead of your own. People-pleasers are highly attuned to others and are often seen as agreeable, helpful, and kind. However, people-pleasers may have trouble advocating for themselves, leading to a harmful pattern of self-sacrifice or self-neglect. People-pleasing is associated with a personality trait known as "sociotropy," or feeling overly concerned with pleasing others and earning their approval to maintain relationships. Someone with a people-pleasing trait suffer from anxiety, stress, panic attacks or more.Signs You Might Be a People-Pleaser
People-pleasers tend to share several characteristics. Here are some signs that you might be a people-pleaser:
- You have a difficult time saying "no."
- You are preoccupied with what other people might think.
- You feel guilty when you do tell people "no."
- You fear turning people down will make them think you are mean or selfish.
- You agree to things you don’t like or do things you don’t want to do.
- You struggle with feelings of low self-esteem.
- You want people to like you and feel that doing things for them will earn their approval.
- You’re always telling people you’re sorry.
- You take the blame even when something isn’t your fault.
- You never have free time because you are always doing things for others.
- You neglect your own needs to do things for others.
- You pretend to agree with people even though you feel differently.
Causes of People Pleasing Traits
- Poor self-esteem: Sometimes, people engage in people-pleasing behavior because they don't value their desires and needs. Due to a lack of self-confidence, people-pleasers need external validation, and they may feel that doing things for others will lead to approval and acceptance.
- Insecurity: In other cases, people might try to please others because they worry that others won't like them if they don't go above and beyond to make them happy.
- Perfectionism: Sometimes people want everything to be "just so," including how others think and feel.
- Past experiences: Painful, complex, or traumatic emotional abuse experiences may also play a role. People who have experienced traumatic emotional torment, for example, may try to please others and be as agreeable as possible to avoid triggering abusive behavior in others.
In conclusion, being a people-pleaser is unhealthy and can lead to resentment, burnout, and low self-worth. It's essential to recognize the signs of people-pleasing and work on building your self-esteem and confidence, setting boundaries, and learning to prioritize your needs. Remember, saying "no" and taking care of yourself first is okay.
Teresa Morin
President of Touch of God Int’l Ministries
🌐 https://www.touchofgod.org
Of Healing and Deliverance, Ordained Minister, Public Speaker
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